dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
