I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
