She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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