I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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