Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
