While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize