you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I know her cup size but not her name....
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