Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
