Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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