guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
