This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
