was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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