I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
