she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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