I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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