today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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