Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
