Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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