yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
