FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I am midnight drunk by noon
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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