would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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