I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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