Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I came so hard my ears popped.
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