she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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