wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
