That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
