I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize