you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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