it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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