YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize