but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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