You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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