Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
