i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I had to cum in my sink.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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