me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
