I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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