Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I checked into jail on foursquare
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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