Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
What a dumb baby whore.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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