Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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