I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
