end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
