Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize