that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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