just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
