this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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