I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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