I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
