Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
