i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
