Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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