People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
