i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
