Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
