Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
