kristin has been a bad kristin
Its about making memories worth repressing
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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