But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
