So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
