if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize
