i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
