is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
