Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I need to align my fucking chakras
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
