and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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