Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
