does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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