I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
