so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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