he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Randomize
