Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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