exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
