Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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