she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
