I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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