I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
