Me too!
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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