I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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