we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
