just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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