Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
