My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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