My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
