So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
