I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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