my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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