What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Let's paint friendship bongs
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
