I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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