she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
