This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
