oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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