Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
